Rest In PEACE...Kou Mama.
I'm learning more and more what RIP means.  The Lord grants rest, sleep, and peace.

Revelation 21:3-4
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

You know, it's interesting that something like this would happen this morning. B/c just yesterday in my journal I wrote this:

Some people say, that when you see a lot of death, or even come close to it, you no longer fear it, it no longer bothers you, you become indifferent to it.

I personally think that this is Bullshit. Well, some parts are true.

I guess it is true that you do realize and accept that death can come at any unpredictable time.  But personally, I think that the more death I see, the more precious life becomes in my eyes.  I see how fragile it is, I see how I have the opportunity to experience things that others do not have the chance to, whether good or bad. The little smiles, the short moments I see that the ugliness in life, no matter how ugly it is, is still life...I see how beautiful life can be.

I didn't always see things this way, but as I move on in life I don't always take these thoughts of mine to heart, and sometimes they get burried and lost with everything I take on in life. But I try to keep this attitude as strong as possible.

It's true, death no longer fazes me the way it once did, and it's been years that I've shed a tear or more the way I once did. I've without a doubt come to accept death as a part of life, hah, matter fact it completes it. But it also shows me the preciousness in life. I still squint my eyes, something still tugs at my heart, and my throat still dries up when it ends.

Police: 3 kids of slain mom found dead in washer, dryer

Authorities today were trying to pinpoint the cause of death for three children an investigator says were found decomposing inside the washer and dryer of their apartment, hours after a woman was accused of killing their pregnant mother and her fetus.

Stuff like this makes me examine my own life, to see whether or not i'm making the most out of it or whether or not it's pleasing to God.

Stuff like this also makes me sick...

Lord we need you down here.

"I'm not able to answer all the calls that I've received in the past few days. I'm being comforted by your concern and your support. I want you to know that our lives are all at risk for random acts, but more likely random acts of love will come your way than random acts of violence."

-Susan Kuhnhausen
-A nurse who killed a hitman hired by her estranged husband.

my first reaction, what a naive attitude. then i took another second to think it over, I think it's an admirable attitude, hopeful.

I almost couldn't wake up for my 9:30 class today. It would've been the first class I would've missed for this year.  I was so warm in bed, with my puffy down blanket wrapped around me. I was in a heavy dream and felt like I could stay wrapped up in my blanket in bed just dreaming for a few more hours. Should I just sleep through class? I promise to make up all the work.  The walk is so far, its all the way down at Coles.  The professor is real boring anyways.

But then all my friends who didn't get into college came to mind. $40,000 a year came to mind. My parents time and emotions came to mind. Everything I've gone through and made it through came to mind. Stop being lazy. Stop making excuses. If other people can make it, there is no reason I shouldn't be able to.  Just tough it out and do what you need to do.

I got out of bed, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and RAN to class. I made it to class out of breath, sweating, legs burning, and heart pounding. Nonetheless I was there, and I was early.

Sometimes school and life is like that. There's very few breaks, it's tiring, draining, sometimes feels like I'm drowning. It's exciting, challenging, and inspiring.  Thoughts fluctuate. "I'm going to to work my ass off this year. My classes are real interesting this year." Then there is..."Why do I have to go to that class, it's a waste of time anyways. Why should I care about this class, it's just a requirement, not even useful."

By having these negative thoughts or excuses, it sometimes makes everything so much harder and worse for myself. But being human, I can't help but to have them from time to time. So, the negative thoughts are just challenges and obstacles that I must overcome.

The Bible tells us that with faith, and if God is willing, we can walk on water. I believe, that God can carry me over the waters and storms he chooses to. I've got to have the faith, courage, and strength to get off the boat to walk on water.